Most of the Miatacage.com team made it to Willows, California yesterday (Thursday). We brought a lot of stuff this time. 3 motor coaches and 3 race trailers filled with two complete race cars and enough parts to build another. Everything that we were wanting for last year, we believe, is here this time – we are short a couple of key team members, but have come up with excellent replacements.
The only issue we had yesterday is that the truck pulling the trailer with the race car had a minor overheating problem crossing the Siskyous (that slowed the caravan down a bit). The problem is believed to have been a faulty radiator cap and it has been corrected.
The weather is currently 37 degrees and partly cloudy – it is a beautiful day. The driving team is currently completing the paperwork required to participate in todays test. We have a schedule of tasks to accomplish and will be starting that within 30 minutes. Race cars are on track.
Updates and photos through the race with photos (as we get the data communication issues worked out).
First, I don’t have an axe to grind (but that’s beside the point, so if you think I’m grinding on an axe, so be it – I don’t care, this is about something else). Chump Car accepted the following vehicle as a $500 build – it’s their game, so it’s their call. Some people, it turns out, would like to understand how they got there.
I know that this topic is very interesting to many people (because lots of them find this blog while searching for “chumpcar cheaters”, “chumpcar penalties” and things like that). I believe that discussion about these things can be productive (and interesting). My original plan was to write a story about how a car that was the subject of some “sideways” looks (by me and others) was built. The owner / builder of the car was quite offended that anybody (me, specifically) wasn’t particularly impressed by his $500 build claim, and had offered to show me his receipts and build log as “proof” of it’s compliance with the rules (as if I don’t know what it costs to build one of these things…). As soon as I declared my intention to accept the offer, it was rescinded. If you care to dig into the genesis of this discussion you can read it here – and, if you like math (and complicated obfuscations) there is even some data from the builder to crunch.
I like Eddie (the owner) and those on his team that I know – I was the lead instructor at his SCCA Licensing School a couple of years ago and specifically recall that he is a nice guy and a competent driver (he even used my number on his car – that was sweet of him…). And, for the record, I like and respect many of the guys whom I’ve filed formal protests about at “real” races in the past (yes, I am a guy who will write a protest when the option exists). These sorts of discussions will always be part of racing – even if we were racing slot cars.
Chump Car was adamant that they would enforce the $500 build rule – this is the original source of confusion (if you write a rule and then clarify it’s meaning, please enforce your rule – I took the time to read it, please don’t insult my intelligence). My suggestion is that a mechanism be established for competitors to have a path to follow regarding conflicts in rules interpretation – currently there is none. At 24 Hours of LeMons races, for example, that mechanism is “The Peoples Curse”. And again, this is a different deal, and if Chump Car chooses to rely on the “Benevolent Dictator” model, we’ll either live with it, or not. In any case, I’ll probably still write about it.
Rather than risk continuing to sound like the transporter of a bunch of sour grapes, I’ll simply post pictures of the car in question during the build process and let the builder (and readers) fill in the “blanks” as he see’s fit. I’ll even start by identifying what I think the biggest “blank” is – it’s that it doesn’t “add up”.For the record, I obtained these pictures from the Facebook photo album that the owner dedicated to the build process. These pictures became available to me recently when a “friend” was tagged in that album.
My point (in guiding you to the big “blank”) is that parts have value – all parts. Safety equipment is excluded from the $500 budget, so don’t count any of that. The Chump Car rules also place no value on labor or team theme (which includes paint, hookers, whatever…) – I’ll presume that means that you can’t credit yourself for labor done in the build process, either… Look at where this car started and how it ended up. Consider the following…
Does this look like $500 worth of stuff to you?
Parts have value – start adding them up
Where did the parts come from? (are they special magic parts?)
Or, what is the value of a complete, parts shedding, Miata donor car?
If it turns out that using previously acquired parts (assigned zero value) to build a Chump Car is within the rules, then so be it. That is a can of worms that might be interesting to explore, and I know just the guys to do it.
salvaged from the weeds - nice find guys!!!look ma, we got a race car!!!
"the bath"this is the first build photo posted after "the bath"that's the top that doesn't fit - so, it was "free"$500 worth of parts... who woulda thunk it?
never mind the "Adrenaline Racing" sticker - we'll cover that up
There’s a nice photo that shows what could be the “donor car” in the background that should go here. It was saved on the Facebook page in a bitmap format which doesn’t work in the blog program. The point is that Eddie has stated that a complete donor car existed – and to be fair, I wanted to point that out.
As we prepare for the 2009 25 Hours of Thunderhill, I thought it would be good to tell a little bit of the story about how this race became particularly important to us.
25 Hours of Thunderhill Grid
In 2008 The Miatacage.com team traveled to Willows, California with a car that hadn’t existed 2 months earlier. In fact, there had been no plan to do “The 25”, at all. If it hadn’t been for our success at the ICSCC 12 Hours of the Cascades, at Portland, just over a month earlier, nobody would have ever thought of it.
The Miatacage.com Team - Version 08
The drivers for Portland were Jon Davies, Chuck Hall, Will Schrader and me. We had built the car with Sean Hedrick at Miatacage.com in less than 2 weeks and installed Chuck’s “special project” Miata motor. For the Cascade enduro the classes are “displacement based”, meaning that the only concern is how big the motor is. We had a small motor with some special parts in it and it was a rocket. We won our class by 12 laps and finished 4th overall.
Bruce Wilson, Jonny Davies, Ken Sutherland and Brian Towey
Two of our regular Miatacage.com teammates were not with us for the race, however. Ken Sutherland and Bruce Wilson, having missed all the fun, were now itching to do an enduro. We had over a month to prepare for the longest endurance race in the world – no problem. Sean offered to provide the car and lots of support – so the thrash began.
Thunderhill is a NASA (National Auto Sport Association) race. That meant we had to deal with yet another set of unfamiliar rules. Cars are “mapped” into an endurance racing class based on their performance (SM and ITA cars are E2, for example) – but our car wasn’t exactly either of those. After some discussion with NASA officials it was decided that we would re-prepare the car to be classified as PTE (Performance Touring E) which NASA also maps into class E2.
Bruce Wilson after a very busy first stint
Performance Touring is interesting as it uses a points system to make it possible for nearly any type of car to go racing. We considered the parts available to us and did some math to come up with what we thought could be a competitive car. We knew that a Miata with a 1.8 liter motor would be preferable (on sheer speed, anyway) as an ITA car, but we have a 1.6 liter and what we believe was the best driver line-up on the E2 grid.
We had to throw together another “less aggressive” motor to make the car E2 legal and capable of 25 hours. The rest of the parts which were “mostly” SM legal (and importantly, SM based) stayed with the car. Ken Sutherland organized the preparation. We installed a new transmission, micro-finished hubs, specially made brake pads that would last the entire 25 hours, an improved radio system and away we went.
Nap Time
The race was red flagged for fog in the middle of the night. We had taken the lead during my stint (and not because of anything, in particular, that I had done) and had a substantial lead when the race was stopped.
As the race resumed, we slowly extended our lead
As the race resumed, we settled into a solid rhythm and extended our lead to 5 laps when a part that never breaks, broke – and, we didn’t have a spare.
Ken Sutherland was able to scavenge a part and get the car running again in just over 20 minutes. The culprit was the throttle body – the shaft that controls the butterfly had snapped because of a small amount of corrosion that was hidden from view. That’s the kind of thing that can ruin your day.
Jonny Davies and Sean Hedrick - About to get some laps back
We now had a choice to make – the only choice. The car was running on pace again, but instead of being 5 laps up, we were 5 down. We made a plan. We would go at “sprint pace” for as long as the car would last – betting that somebody (everybody) else would have at least a small problem in the meantime.
The Miatacage.com crew performed flawless pit-stops
There are other choices to make when one makes choices… Our decision was to streamline our pit stops and only check under the hood (for oil level, as an example) when we were also changing a tire (this could gain us a full lap by the finish). Our motor was using a little bit of oil and this was a concern – not as big a concern as not winning, however.
We were running in second place (and gaining) with Ken in the car, running a scorching pace, when we developed a ventilation problem with the block. The problem was that you could see from one side of it through to the other and all of the oil had fallen out. That’s bad. And, it’s also why we must return.
I'll return this year in a different role - here with Ken Sutherland and Brian Clemons
The Miatacage.com travel team this year is mostly the same. The crew is missing two key members, Peter Lovejoy (to Fire Chief duties) and Garth “Crusher” Levin to his job making cruise ships beautiful for vacationers everywhere (I’m thinking tanned college co-eds and seriously considered joining him). The driving team this year includes Will Schrader (replacing me as I continue my recovery from the cycling injury). Will is the current Spec Miata lap record holder at Thunderhill and a great guy to race with. I can’t think of anybody I’d rather have take my place. I’ll be there as member of the Miatacage.com braintrust making sure that Peter and Garth aren’t too badly missed.
Live blogging on the race should happen in this space – Thunderhill is known for intermittent (read: poor) data access. We will do our best to circumnavigate the challenges.
Here’s a video of some of the cars that passed the $500 “acid test”.
A discussion has been started by a Chump Car official over on their website claiming that grumblings about the lack of enforcement (re: the $500 prep rule) are not well founded – actually, I have reason to believe he’s talking about me.
Hi Chumps – 3:30am and I’m sitting in the tower, watching the fog role in and out… and I had a moment to respond to an issue that was bouncing around the paddock earlier today.
I’ve read some of the comments about some of the “eligibility” and $500 legality of certain cars here at PIR. Yes, there is an ex-Spec Miata in the race; however, they did swap put all of the “race” suspension for junk, stock suspension, and the powertrain was VERY used and stock. As many of you know, I have have raced in Spec-Miata and I have two Miatas that I have campaigned in LeMons… so I know a POS Miata when I see one. So, upon a very thorough inspection, ChumpCar determined that this car was no different then buying ANY used race car and downgrading it to crap-can standards. We have been watching the lap times and handling of many cars — some that we thought may have been borderline — and no one has been “pulling away.” We have not seen any unfair advantages and, if anything, those cars which were suspect of legality have, in my opinion, underperformed. Bottom line — there will always be a car (or cars) that are suspect of cheating. ChumpCar is not immune from opinions or rumors… and unless you’re the one that is crawling under and through the car to check legality issues, everyone will have to trust the Safety and Technical Inspection Team to do their job.
All the best –
John
The comments that follow in that thread are great – whiners?. Really? That’s the best you’ve got?
No, it isn’t.., you’ve also got (from the forum) – “Additionally, the rules kind of prohibit convertibles. So a hard top might fall under safety.” This can’t possibly be a serious defense.
I think Chump Car is a cool idea (it is different from LeMons) and I’m glad they decided to come to Portland. And, if they say a car is elligible, it is. There is reason to believe, because of comments and writings of officials, that they want us to believe they are “serious” about the $500 car thing. My opinion is that they are not, and I’ve cited specific examples (including the cost of parts on the car) – I’ve got plenty more, if you want to go there. Don’t show me a duck and insist it’s a pig. If it walks, talks and quacks like a duck…
My opinion (and you are welcome to yours) is that they missed the stated target. That’s all. And, if this really is racing, then working over your competitors about the legality of their cars and the officials (when necessary) is part of the process. So get off your high (I’ve been doing this for 2 years and I’m really experienced) horse and get over it.
I believe that “Chump Car” will get it right and they could use help from competitors in understanding what we think “right” is (again, my opinion). If you think they did get it right, tell them so.
I’ll look over at the Chump Car forum occassionally and chime in if the discussion continues (and becomes more interesting, read: smarter), but more people are coming to this blog, so feel free to discuss it here if you like. If you post a comment, an admin will approve it, even if it is contrary to my stated “opinion”.
I will get even (even though it looks like God already took the first shot at it). I learned watching “Flipper”, as a kid, that sharks are sensitive around the head area – remember Flipper ramming rogue sharks..?
speechless - I think my karma caught up with your dog-ma fish...
First, lots of people are going to have fun. Theopportunity to race a car never comes to many people and there will be lots of first time drivers on the track today – that’s just cool.
But, this is going to be interesting for other reasons, too… I’ve read through the forums to get a feel for what teams expectations should have been regarding pre-race penalties (a la LeMons). It is pretty clear that cars exceeding the $500 prep limit will receive lap penalties. From an official on the forums – “The acid test is “Do you have a $500 car or not?””
My recollection is that LeMons “cheaters” have been docked one lap for every $10 over the $500 limit . $600 car = minus 10 laps…
The plot thickens – I watched a car role through the inspection process and observed the Chump Car official nodding approvingly at the documentation accompanying a car that massively exceeded the $500 limit (just in body parts). As this is the first Chump Car event, we have no idea what penalties are in store, or how they will be meted out.
So, as of now, I’m not sure how much like a 24 Hours of LeMons race this Chump Car thing is going to turn out to be, but I did get some photos of a few cars that meet what I’ve always thought was the spirit of this type event.
510 Wagon - that's some righteous chumpinessNot so sure about this one - makes me feel nostalgic for the Rockford PileNicely Done!!! This is the kind of crap-can I expectedFinally found the front two thirds of the Fiat X 1/6 - see the "Fiatcage.com" banner? Bellissimo!!If it rains this legit chump has a real chanceRecycled Chumps - I've seen this POS before. These guys get it. Andre the Giant would approve - as do I
“There is a difference between an “activity” and a “race”, and it is important to understand what those differences might be. If Lemons and Chump Car were really races, then the primary purpose would be to have a race – but, that’s not the primary purpose and everybody knows it.”
I wrote that passage a couple of days ago in my post Chump Car!!!, about this weekends event at Portland International Raceway. It turns out that not everybody “knows it”.
Here’s an example from a 24 Hours of Lemons race:
Recently, I made a number of inquires to friends and acquaintances asking for photos of their Chump Cars and descriptions of their driver line-ups. I didn’t get many takers. The reason, it seems, is that they don’t want anybody to know what they’re up to…
Why not – you may ask? I think they figure that if they hide until just before the race (that would be now), the officials won’t notice that they’ve grossly exceeded their budgets. The rules clearly state that cars will be assigned penalty laps if they run afoul of the $500 prep rule. Actually, maybe not so clearly, but they do say this:
“If you screw-up… you’ll either be docked laps or you’ll have to face “The Wrecking Crew.” We hope that you’re as good at fixin’ cars as they are at dismantling them.”
If we apply just a little bit of logic we can deduce that since this is specifically supposed to be affordable racing ($500 cars), that the powers that be will vigorously protect this idea (crap-can racing commandment) by imposing “penalties” on those that “screw-up”. After all (dare I say it), if we just want to do laps in $2000 cars we can do that at a Conference event.
I've never seen one of these before
Anyway, I did receive some photos of a mobile Italian restaurant, which is really cool and I wouldn’t think counts toward the $500. But, they have no pictures of the race car? – Suspicious indeed… I’m told it’s a Fiat X 1/9, well actually (counting the pasta cooker) it’s a Fiat X 1.5/9 which (if you take the time to do the math) is really a Fiat X 1/6.
Antonio, where is the wine opener!?!?
In any case, I’m not so worried about this one because the vital bits of the motor in an old Italian car like that will be organized much like a bowl of seafood linguine by the time the second bottle of Chianti is gone… Ask me how I know sometime.
Then there are a couple of teams with reclaimed Spec Miatas that they think nobody knows the cost of parts for. Excuse me – hey look over here, there are some guys that have built a couple of these things.
Spec Miata masquerading as a.... Spec Miata - crew chief disguised to protect the innocent?
For example: the hard top on your $500 car is worth $800 all day long on Craigslist – “but we only paid $200 for the car, from my co-driver…” These guys must think that the officials are Ferrari F1 fans.
And, if we put some fins on this one then maybe everybody will think its a fish and not a real race car..? Until they start falling off of the poor thing – but that’s okay because the corner workers (both of them) will be looking for something to do around midnight…
this one's been swimming round the bait tank for a while...
It’s no secret that this was (very recently) a real race car. Again, we know stuff and we’re not afraid to prove it. Lest you think that this is sour grapes or garden variety whining – reconsider. Mostly I’m just bored, but there’s nothing gardeny about it and I am not telling you what to think of any of this, anyway – that’s all up to you (and those who would judge you). I just shine the light of righteousness on those of sinister intentions – yes, I’m talking to you Schrader.
I’ve described the 24 Hours of LeMonsas a Halloween Party with cars, and Chump Carwill soon take this description to its natural conclusion with a “race” at Portland International Raceway Oct 31 – Nov 1, 2009.
Background: LeMons has been around since 2006 and is immensely popular in the car guy community. My understanding has been that “LeMons” events have been in such high demand that there just hasn’t been room on the schedule for a Northwest race. And, it seems that maybe we’re not the only place being left off of the schedule.
So, Chump Car is born. The biggest difference I can see, at this point, is that it seems speeds are going to be higher in a Chump Car race (but not too high) – so, kind of like a Conferenceevent. I think they get away with calling it a race because they will be using transponders, and if they wanted to use that information for scoring, they could…
potentially fast car with shark theme - will the judges fall for this old trick?
There is a difference between an “activity” and a “race”, and it is important to understand what those differences might be. If Lemons and Chump Car were really races, then the primary purpose would be to have a race – but, that’s not the primary purpose and everybody knows it.
There is no reason to believe that this isn’t simply going to be a Halloween party with cars. Before the race even starts cars will be credited or penalized laps based on important “racing criteria” like team theme and costumes, and the amount of school supplies donated to a particular charity. The information gathered by the transponders can be “corrected” at any time and for any reason – again, just like Conference.
The promoters are very up front about the fact that they may, again, at any time, for any reason, mess with your “race car” just because they would enjoy it.
transformation from "red meat" to harmless bird
So, the Miatacage.com race team is in possession of the 2007 Thunderhill LeMons winning car. The then recently acquired, totaled (complete, save the broken cam shaft) and purchased for $200, 1999 Mazda Protégé, was then known as Team Red Meat and Poontang – it was really cool when the track announcer said the team name on the loud speaker (once).
consensus is that we'd all still date her
For Chump Car, the team has gone with a Partridge Family theme – something about 6 dates in 24 hours with Laurie (who didn’t have a crush on Susan Dey in 1973..?). We’re all pretty excited about this.
The driving line-up for this grand adventure is made up of crew members of the nearly successful, go-til-ya-blow, 2008 25 Hours of Thunderhill Miatacage.com team. The Miatacage.com “over the wall-stars” are Brian Clemons, Ed Pavone, Dave Sutherland, Kevin Clark, Garth (Crusher) Levin and Jeff Jenks. They didn’t spill any fuel or make other mistakes at the 25 – lets see if they can keep the fenders on the Partridge Bus…
I’m not going to be of much use (unless there is a mid-event break for a walker race), so I’ll probably just hang out in the motor coach and watch the silliness (read: experiment with new cocktail recipes). I love seeing people drive on the race track (in anger) for the first time, and there is going to be a lot of that going on. I’ll be there just to see the looks on my friends faces both before and after their big racing debuts – I can’t wait.
I had a little bit of time this morning and wanted to fill in some of the details of how the ICSCC officers have handled the disagreement they have with me. My race weekend with them has been reasonably well documented and most of you know the story. I had a good time and wrote about the experience – it was a pretty good story. This explanation is so that members of Conference can have a better understanding of how their club works.
First, I have many very good friends that race in Conference. I like most of the people there, and in some cases the feeling is mutual. The people that do most of the work that make the racing possible are awesome. As a matter of fact, I went into the last race weekend with a favorable attitude regarding the current crop of upper level Conference Officials, as well. That attitude would be short lived, however. The problem still is that some people that aspire to the “top of the club” act like a bunch of 8th grade bullies once they get there.
The analogy is that at a middle school the 8th graders are the “big kids” and there are always a few that have to show the new kids who is boss. It’s just the way life is, I suppose – some kids are just mean and pick on the smaller kids. Sometimes they grow out of it… Sometimes they become Conference Stewards.
My original story about my experience racing Conference included a description of a Conference Official that, in my view, is likely a serial bully. That description is what the Conference License Director took offense to, and is the original source of Conference’s problem with me. A problem that the License Director believed warranted a removal of my racing privileges. I was “banned” for writing a story.
This is the passage from an email I received from the I.C.S.C.C. License Director dated August 19 that explains his position:
Per E 404., all non-ICSCC licensed entries are subject to my approval as License Director. There are no qualifiers on this approval. Sportsmanship is one of the criteria that I apply when making approval decisions. I find both your conduct, and demeanor, to be unsportsmanlike, and therefore I do not approve of your entry, in any future ICSCC sanctioned event.
There was a phone call and several emails that went back and forth related to this passage, but that is the important paragraph. There was a demand that I apologize without an offer of an apology for the way I had been treated by their bully – WTF, is this some kind of a joke..? I did ask for a clarification regarding specifically what the issue was and I received this – an excerpt from my story:
“Captain Rule Book” then rode away on his motorcycle (sans helmet) his shirt flapping around his over the shoulder walkie-talkie holster like a moo-moo worn by a Hawaiian grandmother on a breezy Maui evening. I wonder if Adolf knows that Portland is a city park and is therefore not exempt from the Oregon motorcycle helmet law..? This guy is serious Mall Cop material.
From my perspective, this is what the issues are:
I was “banned” from racing with Conference until I apologized to a bully (not going to happen).
The License Director had quoted the ICSCC rule book to affirm his position that he has the final say.
Most importantly, the banishment was for an issue that may fall under “freedom of press” protections.
My response was to suggest that the License Director (and Conference) get his story straight and engage in some CYA (cover your ass).
“Power corrupts”, but usually there is a place within a racing organization to air grievances. An example is that I was racing in an SCCA Pro Racing series where the Series Steward often behaved like an unreasonable jerk. He had the “final say”, but there was a series sponsor (with a representative) that was interested in resolving differences – we could go to him. The jerk was eventually replaced. In Conference, Per E 404 (see above) there is no higher authority. I went to the rule book and the License Director is correct – he has the final say should he choose to use it. And he did – “absolute power corrupts, absolutely.”
I continue to believe that ridicule is a useful tool when dealing with bullies. I also believe that what happens away from the track (provided it is within the law) should have no bearing on the approval of things like racing licenses. To this day, I have not received an apology or a retraction of the License Directors invocation of ICSCC Rule E 404. I have submitted an entry for the ICSCC race that takes place this weekend, and the registrar indicated that a resolution would be forthcoming (to save me the trouble of preparing a car and making the tow for nothing).
I believe this really is the case of one bad apple spoiling the bunch. I think that the License Director is probably a pretty good guy that has simply been immersed in a culture that protects its own – no matter the reason… The 8th graders are going to show me who is boss. They know that E 404 was a lame call, but now they won’t do the right thing and correct the mistake. I wonder what’s going to happen walking home from school on Friday…
I will continue to push back on this – because I do have friends that race in Conference and I think it is time for somebody to finally call BS on this crap. There is also Oregon case law that makes clear the responsibilities of organizations that conduct events on public property (like PIR for example). Conference doesn’t care about little guys like me, but they (and the clubs that make them up) are on the wrong side of that law – maybe they care about that…
Racing has rules and that’s good. In my view the primary focus of rules should be safety and after that fun and fairness. Fun and fairness are very closely related as you really won’t have much of one without the other. But sometimes, you just need to use your head – That’s why it’s called Racing instead of Ruling.
Except for the 12 Hours of the Cascades Enduro, the last time I entered a International Conference of Sports Car Clubs race (Conference) was 1987. The reason is that they’re kind of goofy – not the people so much, I really enjoy most of them, but the club / event dynamics are just different from anything I’m used to. It often starts well, and then one of them comes along and sucks all the fun right out of it, like a chaperon at an all night party – don’t you guys have something better to do?
The beginning: When Kirk Knestis and I showed up for my first Conference race in late summer of 1984 they needed to classify our current IMSA Renault Cup car. So, we brought all of the required documentation and based upon the weight and listed horsepower it would be placed in I Production (the slowest of the slow, but it would have qualified for J Production, had it existed – it was that slow). The Tech Steward, of course, declared that a 55 horsepower 1984 Renault Alliance would be H Production (one class faster) because it was a “Pro” car. Seriously? They hadn’t even invented crack yet back then… The conversation that followed nearly got me banned for life – in hindsight, that would have been okay.
Now I know that I’m a bit tightly wound and that I’m not particularly shy about sharing my views – this can be problematic when you have a rigorously vigilant “ruling” class. But, if I’m at a Conference race it’s because I’m simply trying to have a good time. There is no pressure at one of these deals – sometimes the racing is fun and the people are mostly awesome. But, “up one class because of the IMSA sticker?”
Despite the initial experience, for a few years we would occasionally show up at a Conference race. They raced at Westwood, for example, and that was a spectacular place to be. Its fun to be able to say that we raced there, Westwood is racing history and it’s one of the neat things that have happened to me that might not have happened without Conference.
But, something weird would always happen. I’ll never forget the guy that stormed into my pit to admonish me for causing him to shunt himself at the end of the front straight at Westwood. I was driving a borrowed old formula ford and one of the self proclaimed Conference heroes misjudged his braking trying to follow me through turn one. We discussed the fact that I was indeed on the racing line and that no I hadn’t blocked him, the issue was… well, I’m not so sure what it was exactly. The advantage of learning to race in cars with tired old motors is that you get used to not using the brakes so much (in Renault Cup the middle pedal meant a quick and certain relegation to the back of the pack) – this is sometimes confusing to the other guys and they crash. So, Kirk and I patiently listened to his story about how I had caused his crash and then proceeded to laugh so hard that we nearly pissed ourselves. I am certain that one of the 135 pages of the Conference rule book addresses that, too. Chapter 8, Section D, Paragraph 2 “You have dribbled down your leg – START AT THE BACK!!!”
One night at Portland, while sleeping in our tent next to the cars (the tent met the constraints of our lodging budget), we were awakened by a noise. There was a drunk either sleeping in or trying to steel our race car – we never worked out which, for sure… I’ve been blatantly “brake checked” twice – yeah, Conference license holders… Now, I know that stuff like this happens at other places, it’s just that it usually happens to me at Conference races.
I have a lot of very good friends that race now or have a history in Conference – they are all a bit easier going than I am, but I like hanging out and racing with them anyway. One of my old racing friends, Hal Hilton, was the Chief Steward or Grand Poo-Bah (whatever they call them) recently, and Hal is an extremely smart and fair guy – maybe things have changed there, I hoped.
Because of the approaching endurance racing season and the availability of a car for me to drive, this past weekend was the best opportunity for some seat time and fun in preparation. This was a chance to pit and hang out with my friend Ted Rees, his father Phil and their families. They have a great laid back approach and fun attitude that would be nice for a change. The Miatacage.com enduro car just needed a shake down to make sure all of the systems and a few new parts were working properly. They’re not.
The car started showing signs of a possible switching / starting problem at Rose Cup – it wouldn’t start hot. We thought it was a bad connection somewhere and checked and cleaned the usual culprits. We would chase the worsening problem for the rest of the weekend and eventually get to learn about some special Conference racing rules – here we go again…
For example, while leaving the track after ITA qualifying on Saturday a Tech Steward approached the car and in a rather nasty tone asked “where are your gloves?” I showed him that I owned some as he barked back at me about leaving them on until I was back inside the paddock.
Understand, the track was in a red flag condition (closed) and I was traveling at about 5 mph. If I had stopped the car in the hot pits during the session and got out, I surely would not have put a helmet or gloves on to move it back to the paddock after the checkered flag. Isn’t there really something better to be spending our energy on? “Captain Rule Book” then rode away on his motorcycle (sans helmet) his shirt flapping around his over the shoulder walkie-talkie holster like a moo-moo worn by a Hawaiian grandmother on a breezy Maui evening. I wonder if Adolf knows that Portland is a city park and is therefore not exempt from the Oregon motorcycle helmet law..? This guy is serious Mall Cop material.
Ted, Phil, Roger (Phil’s pit lackey) and pit guru Garth “Crusher” Levin all had to listen to me go on about how it had started all over again with these “Conference guys”. I mean, it’s like they want you to fail – I imagine them in their trailers at night working out ways to “trick” the new guys. “Let’s give the 5 minute warning at 8 minutes to go – we can put it at the bottom of the supps and maybe some of them will miss it…”
Ted and I had a great time in practice and qualifying on Saturday. We drove around playing race car dodge ball with the rest of the kids. Most of the drivers are pretty attentive, but there are a handful that either don’t have mirrors on their cars or just haven’t worked out the details of how to best utilize them. Qualifying went well for me. Ted and I were first and second in ITA and I managed to out-qualify my Miatacage.com team mate / rivals Will Schrader and Gary Bockman for the provisional pole in Spec Miata.
Qualifying on Sunday was uneventful as Garth, Ken Sutherland and I spent most of the morning chasing the electrical problem. I didn’t improve my times but kept the ITA pole and was bumped to the outside of the front row for SM by Will Schrader. I was really looking forward to the race with Gary and Will, those guys are gladiators – it would be one hell of a show…
We had come up with a solution to the electrical problem. The battery was taking a charge and the car was starting afterward. We would simply keep the car on the charger until it was time to roll up and then we would go to grid, start and race. This worked well for ITA – the car started and the race was a yawner. I started on the 3rd row behind several cars in faster classes – I survived the chicane and drove away from everyone behind me – no drama. Conference allows a crew member to ride in the car on the victory lap – Garth rode with me. I suppose it’s safer to have somebody besides the driver hold the checkered flag one receives to commemorate a victory. Garth wasn’t wearing gloves (or helmet, suit, ass in seat, seat belts)… Safety first, Colonel Klink – “ATTENTION SECURITY – THERE IS A SKATEBOARDER NEAR THE ELEVATORS BY VICTORIA’S SECRET…”
Anyhow, we tried to start the car to go to grid for SM and it refused. So our impromptu plan was to roll up before the five minute warning and let the car run. There are a couple of options in SCCA to deal with a problematic starter – neither work in Conference. If you are not on grid by the 5 minute warning (8 minutes before the start of the race, as it turns out) you start at the back. AND, you cannot bump start the car on the grid – especially after the one minute warning, and double especially if you were in the process of negotiating with the officials regarding the first offense. “YOU WILL START AT THE BACK!!!” TIMES TWO!!!
I was in violation of a rule – I get that. Okay, two rules. Here’s the thing, Conference makes the outsiders run 3 digit numbers that begin with a 7. I don’t know or care why, but I do know that this makes it possible for them to easily and immediately identify non-Conference drivers. They have a rule that they very well know is in conflict with what anybody with a 700 series number on their car is used to. It’s a simple procedural violation and a matter of a steward’s discretion. If I were in charge (God forbid), I Would make a point of helping these easily identified ”customers” understand the differences in the rules rather than berate them with snarky remarks, regarding gloves for example, and race ruining penalties – but that’s just me. The amateur anthropologist in me has come up with a solution to this “Conference Problem” – try something a little bit more predictable, like vodka.
Mike Blaszczak, the steward in question regarding the grid issues, knows how I feel about this. We discussed it twice and my parting remark was essentially – I’m not coming back (it was a little bit stronger than that the second time, and I apologize if he was offended by my language). I’ll probably back off on that eventually, but not very soon unless somebody else is paying the bills.
My pit-mate for the weekend, Ted, had an interesting Sunday, as well. He had to work his way from the back of the field in the ITA race after a first lap spin and was then taken out along with Chris Heinrich (the CSM points leader) by another dive bombing Miata on the second lap of the race. Mike, the aforementioned Steward, had declared that event to be a “racing incident” as it was due to brake failure. I queried him as to whether Conference had any rules about maintaining incidental equipment (like brakes) – he said that those things are ”up to the driver”. Oki-doki.
These stiff car-prep requirements also shed light on the 5 laps it took to black flag the car with the bar-b-que in its trunk during the ITA race. The stewards were looking at the car carefully (I could see them as I motioned that maybe something might be wrong…”SHE’S ON FIRE, FRED!!!). It turns out they were working out whether it was chicken or ribs. It must have been ribs – the chicken would have taken at least 8 laps. I have no idea how these guys keep their 5’s and 8’s sorted out…
In the final analysis, I had some fun. It was great to talk to and meet a lot of the Spec Miata drivers I hadn’t seen for a while. Importantly, the car came back without a single new mark on it, I’ve got some fun video to share and I confirmed that neither Conference nor I have changed – I’ll take that deal 5,000 (8,000) times.
The thing that finally turned the weekend around for the better is when a group of workers drove by (as we were debriefing with some frosty cold beverages), to say how much they had enjoyed the DFL to 3rd drive (it was a bit more colorful than that). Those guys get drenched, frozen, sun burnt and risk their lives because they love the sport. I’ll start from the rear every time if it makes them want to come back. Other than the time John Bradshaw told me he had just watched me win the best race he’d seen in over 10 years, that’s about the best compliment a guy like me can receive.
