Cross Crusade – PIR

Sunday, I arrived in “race” mode at Portland International Raceway for the first time in over a year.  I had stopped racing the weekly bicycle road racing series relatively early last season over concerns about the safety, and my last car race there was in August 09. 

A Challenge: 

The grassy areas outside the north and west ends of the track, where the cross course is, hold a lot of water.  PIR is a city park and was originally built on land that had been the City of Vanport.  Vanport had been built to house workers at the Kaiser Shipyard during World War II but flooded when a dike broke during a big storm – it is low and near a big river.    

Storms are normal in Portland during the fall and this Sunday wouldn’t be an exception.  I knew that the conditions would be tough for me, but that I would have an advantage in that PIR is one of my “happy places”.  It would be wet and muddy, but I spend a lot of time there and I could think of that as a home field advantage.  And, I could call upon non cycling related experiences to help me here. 

A Psychological Advantage?: 

A few years ago, my friend Garth Stein wrote a novel called “The Art of Racing in the Rain”.  Rain can be a “happy place”, too, and for most of my driving career it was.  A few years before that Garth had organized a racing clinic that, in addition to being a boon for Northwest Spec Miata drivers, was a research exercise for his book. 

The leaders of the clinic were Don Kitch and Ross Bentley.  They are both highly regarded proponents of the concept that mental preparedness is a massive part of success in sports – particularly auto racing (and I say bicycle racing, perhaps even more).  They are both gifted communicators and I left those two days with a new respect for the discipline required to become successful in sport. 

I suppose that’s a round-a-bout way of getting to the point that PIR is on my happy place list and I would be racing in the rain – that’s good.  I think it is in Bentley’s “Inner Speed Secrets” book that all the hocus pocus, voo-doo, “be the ball” stuff is discussed – I’m a believer, and as such, got on with the task of preparing for what could be my day. 

To paddock near the cross course at PIR it is necessary to arrive before racing begins at around 8:30.  The start / finish line is just behind the turn 7 grandstand and the course runs out past turn 4 (between the track and golf course) on one side and down toward the center of the back straight on the other.  I set up the Ten Guys Named Alex compound directly adjacent to the cross course, near start finish in the grass, and settled in for a long day of racing.

Big Mike, Slugging it Out with the Big Boys

The first race I was interested in was the Clydesdale race where TGNA teammate Mike Hall finished 3rd and a couple of my friends from Hood River also did well.  The wind and rain came and went all day.  Ken Sutherland was out again to see some bike racing, and as with any car race, we continuously observed the weather off to the west and discussed tire pressures – I wish I’d had some sway bars to disconnect. 

The Race: 

The course was a mess by the time my 11:40 start arrived – the wet grass becomes muddier with each bike that passes.  3 races, times 5 laps, times 200 racers – yes, 3,000 bikes.  The weather, however, had temporarily become very nice.  And, I had finally earned a call-up by climbing to 13th in series points at Sherwood.  It seemed if ever I was to do well in a sloppy race, that this was the day. 

Well, not so fast…  The start went well enough and I rode the first half lap with my Hood River nemesis’ Gregg and Jeff but had a minor pedal problem that I might have dealt with a little better. 

After the first run-up everybody’s shoes become packed with mud and I couldn’t re-engage my cleat after remounting the bike.  I spent too much time trying to make it work.  It got worse after the section that was so sloppy that it became a run-down.  The gap became large and by the time I was able to work it out I was in danger of falling out of the points. 

I needed to focus and remember the plan I had made for such a situation – there is an art to racing in the rain… but, how the hell does this part go???  The solution was to start riding through some of the many big puddles – this would rinse the pedals and shoes.  It kind of worked.  So, I got on with just riding the bike and trying to get some positions back.  The racing was good and I think my “adverse conditions” riding is improving.  I wish Ross would write a bike racing book…  He could call it “Hey Dumb Ass, Most Race Cars Have Roofs and You Could be Warm and Dry Right Now!!!”  Anyway, this isn’t “my thing” and I think he could help me change that. 

Next: 

I’ve got some ideas about how to attack some of the issues I’m having with these sloppy courses.  Arriving early and camping near the start / finish line helped me mentally – and that’s half the battle.  I rationalize that it has been just over two years since I did my first cross race, and I missed almost all of last season  – patience.  This reminds me a little bit too much of my return to auto racing in 2003 – I want to win now, but there are a bunch of guys that have other plans.  I worked that out last time… 

Technically, this IS girls fighting in the mud... That's good, right?

I do think that I’m done with Cross Crusade, for now.  I’m going to do some racing up north and see how the courses and format there suit me.  A big part of bike racing is figuring out how one’s skills can best be utilized to achieve success – I’ll need a broader base of experience to work that one out.  There are some long time cross venues in the Puget Sound area and I’d like to see them, for starters.  

The class structure is different in the Seattle Cyclocross series, too.  They have a 45+ Cat 3 (like B’s in OBRA) – I think I might be okay there.  And technically, I’m a Cat 4 – do I want to race, or do I want a trophy…?  They race at Steilacoom on Sunday.  

I hope it’s really wet and muddy – my new happy place.

Cross Crusade – Sherwood Forest Cyclocross

This cross thing has been a bit of a challenge for me so far this year – almost like “real” racing…  Well, it is real racing as it turns out, and that has made it easier for me to swallow the pill of no race driving for now.

Everything was going quite well until I got hurt at the beginning of last season.  I battled bronchitis early in this season, which kind of sucked.  Finally, Alpenrose went pretty well, and Rainier wasn’t horrible.  But, it wasn’t until Sherwood that I finally had a result that matched what I was expecting each weekend last year.

There are some things about bicycle racing that can be frustrating.  Amongst those things are the lack of confidence I have in the way scoring is done, and that some other important rules are vague, non-existent, un-published and / or change without notice – but, we are expected to understand and comply with them, anyway.  The difference (for those that haven’t figured it out yet) between a bike race and a bicycle ride, is rules.

So, I made the decision to not be bothered by all of that pesky rules and scoring stuff and to just show up and enjoy the day.  I would spend Sunday at the Sherwood Forest Equestrian Center for a race / ride – depending on my mood at race time.

Saturday night I had attended a Miatacage.com team meeting in Portland and slept on the sofa of the meeting room (surrounded by empty pizza boxes and beer bottles).  I woke up at about 7:30 and drove straight to Sherwood.  As I was there early, I had the opportunity to visit some friends and teammates, drink some coffee (thanks Chris King), eat some oatmeal (thanks Bob’s Red Mill) and to see some racing without being in a rush.

Steve, Sean, Brian and Big Mike – Ten Guys Named Alex

“Big Mike” Hall (Ten Guys Named Alex teammate) has been on the podium for all of the Clydesdale races (dudes over 200 pounds) – we call him Monster Mike now.  The start line of the Clydes race is a crazy sight.  Those guys are big and a bunch of them are built like NFL linebackers – it’s not just a bunch of fat guys.  Mike nearly won one this time, but some big fast dude that used to be a smaller fast dude beat him – again.  I had teased Mike beforehand about not bothering to talk to me after, if he didn’t win – this is the email I got from him on Monday (shared with permission):

Dude, I could not seem to find a solution for Coker. However I will continue to try. He even flatted and somehow caught me. I hate him…I really do. I don’t understand how a Pro 1,2 rider can race Clydes. Especially since he’s already competed with the Mstr. A’s. Shouldn’t it be the other way around. Like shouldn’t you start in the Clydes (provided your fat ass qualifies you to do so) and then move up to the A’s as you get stronger???  WTF?

On one redeeming note, he is most definitely taking me into areas of suffering I did not know I was capable of. 

I was gonna come talk to you after my race but you told me I couldn’t unless I won. Well guess what? I didn’t win. Why? Because I suck. I can’t tell you how bummed I was to not be able to converse with you. It was only til now that I could bring myself to send you this e-mail.  

In fact all I really wanted to say was congratulations on your top 10 finish before the OBRA scorers decide to drop you a few spots cuz someone emails them and says “Hey I finished before that Towey guy”!  

Cheers.

Rivalries are great and my money’s on Mike to climb to the top of that one.

Parkers and Pumpkins: 

I have some rivalries, too – so do you, even if you don’t know about them yet…  My favorite rivalries have always been with good friends.  In auto racing, most recently, the rival was Ken Sutherland, who has come to watch two Cross races this year – we had many epic battles.  In Cross, I currently measure my results with the other old guys from Hood River – Jeff Parker and the Mountain View Pumpkins.

I sold a motorcycle to Jeff almost ten years ago, and rode a bicycle with him for the first time recently.  I used to ride in the Mountain View kit and there are 3 left in the Masters 50 field – they’re orange and they look like pumpkin camouflage.  They are all good guys, and I want to crush them – like evil pumpkins deserve.

Jeff had a great ride at Rainier to leap frog both me and Ed T. (who I don’t know – because I think he is a mountain bike guy and they don’t socialize with roadies), and Gregg Leion has simply been killing it every week.  All three of them were in front of me in series points when the race started Sunday.  They also all have “call-ups” which means that they would start the race in front of me, as well.

The call-up rule is one of the “secret” rules that I haven’t been able to locate yet – as near as I can tell somebody decided that they would call up 15 (I am 16th in points).

The Race: 

I got a great start and was battling with Gregg through the first series of turns.  My plan was to start fast to avoid the cluster at the run-up and then settle into a steady pace.  Gregg eventually secured his position in front of me and began to make a gap.  Last week Jeff had instructed his son to turn me into a fence line – a task he executed flawlessly causing me to become separated from my bicycle.  This week, Jeff was in front of me as we approached the barrier before the creek.  He slipped and augured into the plywood – I only stepped on him once.

Pumpkin Hunt – Chasing Gregg at the Start

Jeff caught me on the next lap – he started a conversation, no doubt to remind me that he was there.  We got on with the task of grinding out the laps – Gregg continued to ride away.

What normally happens (ask any Cross racer about it) is that riders will go out too hard and then drop through the field like rain soaked oak leaves during a big fall storm.  My former sports car racing rival, Ken asked before my race if there was any information that would be useful to me – I asked for time gaps and got them on the big climb.  I thought that it might help me with my discipline.

The information helped me to keep the pressure on and with each lap the number of riders in front of me shrank.  The race was six laps long and my middle four were all within 6 seconds of each other (three were within 2 seconds) – the last was the quickest of all and I was within two minutes of the winner.  I am happy with the final result (9th), but consistency through the race is the most encouraging and more important in the big picture.

Making Laps – Beautiful Day and Lots of Grip

Even more important than any of that, however, is I was able to regain contact with and eventually pass Gregg (for the first time this year) having gapped Jeff and Ed.  That means victory in the “Category Old Dudes from Hood River” race (ODHR – you can look it up on OBRA Results) – which is a pretty tough crew.

Speaking of tough, Sean Becker (TGNA) has been racing in Masters A and was in one of the lead groups for half of the race.  Apparently he went “wet leaf” in a big way sometime after the midpoint.  He did relay that while being passed by some tall skinny guy that a spectator yelled at him to pick up the pace because he was catching Ryan Trebon (former National Champion).   Looking good, Sean – Bravo!!!

Debrief with Ken – Just Like the Old Days…

In addition to the teammates and other cycling friends, Ken, Carrie (the photographer), their daughter Emma (the cowbell shaker) all made it for the start.  All of the support is appreciated and motivating – and contributed to the result.  And maybe, next week, the secret rules will mysteriously allow me to have a call-up!!!

A Big Week

There has been plenty happening lately (I am bicycle racing some and I’ve done some driver coaching), but I haven’t taken any time to write about it.  This, however, was an important week that capped off an unusually strange year…

Last Sunday was my first visit to Alpenrose Dairy since I broke my femoral neck there, almost exactly a year ago.  I managed this while previewing the opening race of the 2009 Cross Crusade bicycle racing series.  Thursday, I strapped into a race car for the first time since before the cycling mishap.

Part of the fall-out of the cycling crash was the necessity to make some difficult decisions.  The first was to yield my place as a driver in the Miatacage.com effort to win the 25 Hours of Thunderhill in December – it was the best thing for the team, but also put me on a path that lead away from being reliably effective as a race driver.

Working Out the Bugs at an Early Season Cross Race

The nice part was that it allowed me to focus on rehabilitating my injury and regaining some of my fitness more quickly.  I was racing the bicycle again at Tucson in March (5 months after surgery) and I feel very healthy – that is a reasonable accomplishment with which I am very pleased.

Return to the Scene…:

Upon arriving at Alpenrose on Sunday, we walked toward the place on the course where I had fallen.  There is a concrete stairway on the grounds that makes an interesting (but totally treacherous, in my view) feature for a cross race.  As last year, the morning was a bit damp and at 9:30 (before the start of the second race) there was already lots of wet dirt on the black-top where riders must dismount their bicycles.

I stepped onto the course and ran my foot across the dirty surface where the racers would leave a grass area to make a 180 turn on the approach to the dismounting zone – F*** ME, it was super slick!!!  I didn’t need this – let the two hour long freak-out session begin.

My race (Masters 50) would start at 11:40.  We watched the start of the Clydesdale (200 plus pounders) and Cat C (like Cat 4 on the road) race and observed the carnage.  Every third rider was hitting the ground – HARD.  How smart would it be for me, knowing how dangerous this course can be, to race here?

Searching for Grip…

There was a break scheduled for after the Cat C race, so I returned to the car to get kitted up and prepare to have a look at the rest of it – but especially the stairs.  Everybody and their brother (and sisters and all of their kids) was out there.  It was mostly okay, but the course also utilizes the famous Alpenrose Velodrome which is concrete on the apron and is painted on the smooth banked concrete surface.  So – lots of hard surface with dirt and / or mud on it (or wet paint).  Perfect…  Even better was that because of the slow movement of the preview caravan, I was diverted from the course before reaching the stairs.  So, I wouldn’t have the peace of mind of some perspective and having done one low speed dismount there prior to lap 1 of the race.

I had, by now (and sensibly), managed to persuade myself that racing this day was a bad idea.  Ken, Carrie and Emma Sutherland had come out to see about this sport that was filling the void left by auto racing, and I informed them that I would be able to explain it to them during my race, because I wasn’t going out there just to entertain the Portland hippies.  Carrie was understanding, but Ken thought it would be good if I started at the back and just rode around – after all, I was entered and everything…

I did have a pretty good starting draw for riding around at the back – so, what the hell?  My number in the “starting lottery” was picked seventh of ten.  What that means is that everybody with a number that ends with a “2” would start together about two thirds deep in the field.

I’m glad that cross is popular, and eventually it all sorts out, but it can be frustrating (and a bit dangerous) when lots of guys that haven’t been on a race bike since last December are starting in front of you.  No, I don’t have a plan that you would like and that would also solve the problem…  But, what this means is that the faster guys starting at the back (like my friend Gregg Leion who drew the eighth number) would be blowing through the field at the start.  Gregg is retired so he doesn’t have to bother with being at work Monday morning and therefore can take big risks…

It all turned out okay – some of the 130 Master B’s that started 2 minutes ahead of us ended up on the ground before reaching the first turn (or the actual start line), but we were fine.  I had a good race and after starting somewhere around 60th of 84 old dudes, I not only stayed upright, but I also made it to 17th place – which gets me 2 points and a call-up for the next race in the series (meaning that I start nearer the pointy end).

That’s one demon slain.

And then, back at the race track…:

The Miatagace.com Race Team has been preparing for the 25 hours of Thunderhill pretty much since, for the second year in a row, we led most of the race only to have a mechanical failure within sight of the finish.  Part of that preparation has included renting the car to other drivers so that the team budget can be supplemented – money fixes everything…  Well, the car has been knocked around a bit as a result, and it would be useful to run it.

As this weekend is the final SCCA Regional Race of the year (two of them, actually) at Portland International Raceway.  Race weekends always begin with an un-official test day, which would be Thursday.  This would be the best last chance to do any testing before Thunderhill, and there were some new suspension bits to try and decisions to make.

Drivers Will Schrader and Jonny Davies would handle that task along with crew member Josh McKinney.  Chuck Hall had made lots of changes to his Spec Miata for this season, but had only run it once.  He was in town to evaluate any other changes to make over this winter.  He invited me to come out and do some laps so that he could have a second opinion.

I suppose that driving a Spec Miata, for me, is a bit like riding a bike – it’s not a sure thing that I’ll do it properly…  The car ran well earlier in the year, but we would have the challenge of running on two sets of questionable tires (a mostly used up set of R-888’s from last year, and some RA-1’s from 2003).

The good news for me is that I’ve spent a lot of time racing on tires that others would have thrown out (or had).  We started on the 888’s which some guys didn’t care for, but I liked the couple of times I raced on them last year – they feel a bit more like “real” race tires.  We did air pressure and ride height adjustments to get the balance right and the car was a comfortable “loose-ish” – just like we want it.

One of the coolest things I saw all day was an old (mid – late 1970’s) March Formula Atlantic car.  In my first session, it passed me leaving the chicane and it was neat to see the massive rear tires (those cars were only low 200’s on horse power).  All of that mechanical grip made them a blast to watch when there were fields of 50 of them “back in the day” – aerodynamics, schmerodynamics.  Cool stuff.

The Business End of a March 76B Formula Atlantic

The first laps on the nearly eight year old RA-1’s felt like the dirty, damp concrete surface at Alpenrose.  After a half dozen laps they began to gain some grip and the lap times started to come down.  I ran a good series in the high 1:32’s and low 33’s with a handful of laps within 2/10ths of a second – I was pleased with the consistency and the behavior of the car, so we called it a day.

Perhaps the most interesting thing to me was that I was comfortable in that particular car.  I’ve spent a fair amount of time in it over the years, and the driving position and mirror set-up have always been a challenge.  Cyclists can think of this as a seat being too far forward, or handlebars that you don’t like the feel of – it makes a difference.

Today, however, everything was fine even though the car hadn’t changed.  I think that not having the recent perspective of something that I was used to contributed to that.  This makes me think that I could have done better adjusting to such changes in the past.  I learn something every time I go to the race track.

Thanks Chuck.

2010 Oregon Region SCCA Driver’s School

Todd Butler, the former Oregon Region SCCA Road Race Director, called me a few months ago and asked if I would again “help” with the Driver Licensing School.  I, against my better judgment, agreed to show up and take credit for anything good that happened under the condition that Bruce Wilson did all of the work.  I knew, under any circumstance, that if anything went wrong I could, with a clear conscience, blame it on Todd.   

So, the 2010 Oregon SCCA Driver’s School is history and nothing went horribly wrong – Todd is seemingly safe.  As a matter of fact, contrary to thinly veiled concerns by almost everybody else involved, I think that when all was said and done, even the Stewards and Chief Officials were happy with the result.  

A clue to the problem with having me run something like this is that I left the corporate world some 20 years ago.  The reason I left was that I just don’t always get along with the other kids – even then it was obvious that it would be best if I just worked alone…  And this isn’t really one of those “work alone” deals.  

So, Bruce organized the instructor corps and then (because, I think, Bruce doesn’t need the grief), he just let me do my own thing.  He brilliantly had managed to get us a bunch of guys (and a girl) that I could work with (read, would put up with my crap).  This became important when I decided that “the way we always do it” wasn’t the way we would be doing it this time.  

Student Russ Seewald in his BMW - http://camdenthrasher.com/

For example, in the past we’ve assigned one “instructor” to one or two students with whom they would work independently for the entirety of the school.  This kind of worked sometimes, but I had concluded that this was mostly by accident.  I wanted a system in which nobody could slip through the cracks.  The solution was to have the entire instructor staff available to work with any (and all) of the students from the first session.  For this to succeed I needed eyeballs outside of the cars observing the entire process – so, that’s what we did. 

Admittedly, the first “On Track, Lead / Follow” session started in a way that didn’t appear to make sense to anybody but me – I knew exactly what I wanted, though.  Grid Goddess, Julie Winslow, can be forgiven for spending the half hour following the first release of cars from grid searching for a guillotine.  Don’t deny it Julie – I speak a small amount of French and still have friends at the local shops that secretly sell such things…  Trust me, when I say to you that my plan made quite a bit of sense to me…  

Mark Whyman fast and safe in the 996 - http://camdenthrasher.com/

Anyway, everybody got out (mostly with instructors that know what lead / follow means), and the observation crew got on with the observing part.  Jonny Davies was planning on being an instructor to his Crew Chief (mine too) Garth “Crusher” Levin, anyway.  2009 success story, Mieko Doi-Olson had agreed to come down the night before to talk to the new racers about what had helped her obtain her racing license last year.  And Fenn Bourland, the Spec Miata equivalent of Evil Knievil (could try to jump a Miata over the Snake River Canyon and live to tell) also skipped his regular tee time to pitch in.  

I could go on and on about these three (not a stooge amongst them).  Jonny has an eye for minute detail that still boggles my mind. Mieko is so enthusiastic about the sport that she has developed an ability to see important things that most seasoned veterans miss.  Fenn is not only a great communicator, but has an uncanny ability to make people feel (and look) fabulous.   

We took notes and discussed plans of attack for our crop of prospective racers.  Very early on we were able to focus specific attention on those that could benefit.  The “on track” instructors responded well to the new format, as well.  Bruce had secured the services of Jim Murray (the new Road Race Director) who brilliantly shepherded the two “open wheel” students.  The numerous closed wheel students were attended to by Ken Sutherland, Gary Bockman, Will Schrader, Ken Olson (Mieko’s husband), David Conover, Tim Scott (Vintage expert) and Geoff Cochran.  

The only guy I hadn’t met previously was David Conover, the NW Region Head Driving Instructor, (so he was likely pretty good).  The only other I hadn’t really “worked with” was Ken Olson.  I knew Ken from Mieko’s experience last year and was massively confident that he knows how (and when) to communicate – he never once interfered with an instructor that was working with his then fiancé.  Clever dude.  

We put the best guys on track with those that needed visual feedback (like more lead / follow), and good examples to emulate.  We had mandatory post session de-briefs – Jonny, Mieko and Fenn all made that work.  By lunch time the first day we had a firm grasp of everybody’s capabilities, and some good ideas for how maybe to turn them into reasonable facsimiles of race car drivers.  

Some of the students had come with cars equipped to accommodate an instructor as passenger.  The Road Race Director and Stewards had worked it out so that we could put an instructor in those cars during some sessions.  Jeff Gamroth (local Porsche guru and a pretty good wheel man) had a couple of customers out as students and asked to assist one of them as an instructor – no brainer. 

Barrett Smith with Gamroth in the Porsche - http://camdenthrasher.com/

I did become a bit nostalgic when two of the Stewards (Gary Van Horn and Jeff Neiss) approached me to ask (more or less) “What the hell are we doing?”  “We are building race car drivers, sirs….”  

The end result was a bunch of Driving School students with big smiles and Permits to race – most took advantage of the opportunity.  I think the reason I say yes to “The School” is that I get a huge kick out of sharing one of the most important things I’ve enjoyed in my life.  It really is a privilege to drive a race car – and for many of us, it is a great challenge.  I have been able to enjoy racing experiences with family and shared successes and failures with some great friends.  So racing is also a kind of sacred thing for me – I suppose this makes us some sort of missionaries’…  It makes me happy to see others have the success I have enjoyed. 

There are some great individual stories to tell that I hope to get to.  I am thankful to all that participated and especially those who helped some new ideas turn into racing dreams.

Chump Car – Final

Here are the final results as found at mylaps.com.  If you click on each of the individual vehicles you can see a graph that shows the lap times over the course of the event (you need to be logged in with your mylaps.com account to do this, though). 

What I was able to learn from the lap chart is that, for the most part – (yes Garth, I mean you), The Team Partridge Family drivers followed the plan.  They did a great job for a bunch of guys that (except for one) had never seen a green flag before.  I’m proud of you.  You ran as high as 2nd before the electrical issues dragged us down.

You did that in a car that was 9.998 seconds slower (on its fastest lap) than the overall winner.

I think particular kudos go to the “World Rally Chumps” for coming 4th with a slowish car that it looked like any yahoo off the street could build in his garage.  I think that is inspiring to those that don’t regularly get an opportunity to experience the “joy of racing” with their buddies.  Well done.

The “Beach Dudes” car was awesome, too.

Pos No. Name Laps Total time Diff Best time In lap Best speed
1 33 Git Miata Here 594 20:26:03.611   1:39.251 467 71.419
2 5 Dagobah II 580 20:26:50.985 14 Laps 1:39.176 532 71.473
3 2 Coalition of the Willing 572 20:26:35.675 22 Laps 1:43.961 463 68.183
4 7 World Rally Chumps 566 20:26:56.458 28 Laps 1:48.332 437 65.432
5 88 team rusty fishhook 564 20:27:54.015 30 Laps 1:42.440 475 69.196
6 0 Pole Position Racing 562 20:26:31.466 32 Laps 1:42.137 502 69.401
7 82 Autosport Lab Rats 551 20:28:04.498 43 Laps 1:35.782 438 74.006
8 29 Team Produnk 541 20:26:29.658 53 Laps 1:40.402 494 70.600
9 55 Team RSI 538 20:26:56.555 56 Laps 1:41.379 510 69.920
10 94 Team Partridge Family 527 20:27:33.086 67 Laps 1:49.253 267 64.881
11 42 Beach Dudes 520 20:23:43.902 74 Laps 1:50.294 511 64.268
12 47 Pistons are Highly Over-Rated 517 20:27:41.949 77 Laps 1:45.702 286 67.060
13 80 Free Range Racing 515 20:27:00.131 79 Laps 1:42.328 436 69.271
14 3 Worker’s Revenge 513 20:26:58.011 81 Laps 1:46.140 405 66.783
15 74 TEAM IROC 507 20:27:33.954 87 Laps 1:45.681 420 67.074
16 86 Clean Racing 506 20:26:58.887 88 Laps 1:56.055 493 61.078
17 15 Government Motors DptHoMo 502 20:28:05.903 92 Laps 1:42.057 474 69.455
18 11 Happy Toyz 495 20:27:08.362 99 Laps 1:44.354 384 67.926
19 81 Reversed Darwinism 492 20:28:07.202 102 Laps 1:41.436 433 69.881
20 28 La Famila 490 20:26:47.182 104 Laps 1:50.759 408 63.998
21 89 Chia Bull 475 20:26:45.034 119 Laps 1:41.236 446 70.019
22 00 Breast Men 464 20:26:08.743 130 Laps 1:44.200 416 68.027
23 32 GumBall Rally 454 20:26:48.728 140 Laps 1:44.676 309 67.718
24 8 Miyagi Do 442 20:27:08.822 152 Laps 1:42.428 362 69.204
25 99 Eh! Team 440 20:26:30.296 154 Laps 1:44.519 391 67.819
26 96 Team TSR 2 440 20:27:53.036 1:22.740 1:46.102 299 66.807
27 13 GERI-AT-TRICKS OR TREATS 439 17:38:36.025 155 Laps 1:43.360 357 68.580
28 69 rockerzin dockerz 431 20:26:38.431 163 Laps 1:49.550 381 64.705
29 95 Team TSR 405 16:57:35.496 189 Laps 1:46.169 355 66.765
30 1 Squirrels of Fury 391 20:26:36.185 203 Laps 1:42.970 212 68.839
31 87 Cobra Kai 358 17:56:28.549 236 Laps 1:44.511 350 67.824
32 10 Squirrels of Fury == Unfair Ad 347 20:26:08.858 247 Laps 1:42.560 325 69.115
33 6 Stumptown Chumpsters 314 19:52:43.975 280 Laps 1:43.501 227 68.486
34 22 KamiKhazi 298 20:26:45.265 296 Laps 1:41.577 271 69.784
35 20 The Brian Towey Surfing School 275 10:05:23.147 319 Laps 1:45.475 257 67.205
36 40 Red Rocket Rally 263 20:27:44.026 331 Laps 1:52.116 160 63.224
37 67 Size Does Matter 72 2:43:16.306 522 Laps 1:57.260 71 60.450
38 31 Bullitt Film Car 66 18:19:33.055 528 Laps 1:45.253 26 67.346

Chump Car = $500 Cars?

Not quite.

Here’s a video of some of the cars that passed the $500 “acid test”.

A discussion has been started by a Chump Car official over on their website claiming that grumblings about the lack of enforcement (re: the $500 prep rule) are not well founded – actually, I have reason to believe he’s talking about me. 

Probably most recently here and previously here.

This is the post:

Contrary to opinions…

Hi Chumps – 3:30am and I’m sitting in the tower, watching the fog role in and out… and I had a moment to respond to an issue that was bouncing around the paddock earlier today.

I’ve read some of the comments about some of the “eligibility” and $500 legality of certain cars here at PIR. Yes, there is an ex-Spec Miata in the race; however, they did swap put all of the “race” suspension for junk, stock suspension, and the powertrain was VERY used and stock. As many of you know, I have have raced in Spec-Miata and I have two Miatas that I have campaigned in LeMons… so I know a POS Miata when I see one. So, upon a very thorough inspection, ChumpCar determined that this car was no different then buying ANY used race car and downgrading it to crap-can standards. We have been watching the lap times and handling of many cars — some that we thought may have been borderline — and no one has been “pulling away.” We have not seen any unfair advantages and, if anything, those cars which were suspect of legality have, in my opinion, underperformed. Bottom line — there will always be a car (or cars) that are suspect of cheating. ChumpCar is not immune from opinions or rumors… and unless you’re the one that is crawling under and through the car to check legality issues, everyone will have to trust the Safety and Technical Inspection Team to do their job.

All the best –
John

The comments that follow in that thread are great – whiners?.  Really?  That’s the best you’ve got?

No, it isn’t.., you’ve also got (from the forum) – “Additionally, the rules kind of prohibit convertibles. So a hard top might fall under safety.”  This can’t possibly be a serious defense.

I think Chump Car is a cool idea (it is different from LeMons) and I’m glad they decided to come to Portland.  And, if they say a car is elligible, it is.  There is reason to believe, because of comments and writings of officials, that they want us to believe they are “serious” about the $500 car thing.  My opinion is that they are not, and I’ve cited specific examples (including the cost of parts on the car) – I’ve got plenty more, if you want to go there.  Don’t show me a duck and insist it’s a pig.  If it walks, talks and quacks like a duck…

My opinion (and you are welcome to yours) is that they missed the stated target.  That’s all.  And, if this really is racing, then working over your competitors about the legality of their cars and the officials (when necessary)  is part of the process.  So get off your high (I’ve been doing this for 2 years and I’m really experienced) horse and get over it. 

I believe that “Chump Car” will get it right and they could use help from competitors in understanding what we think “right” is (again, my opinion).  If you think they did get it right, tell them so.

I’ll look over at the Chump Car forum occassionally and chime in if the discussion continues (and becomes more interesting, read: smarter), but more people are coming to this blog, so feel free to discuss it here if you like.  If you post a comment, an admin will approve it, even if it is contrary to my stated “opinion”.

Chump Car Photos

RACE DAY!!!

Previous Chump Car Posts:

Chump Car!!!

I guess I was wrong about that…

First, lots of people are going to have fun.  The opportunity to race a car never comes to many people and there will be lots of first time drivers on the track today – that’s just cool.

But, this is going to be interesting for other reasons, too… I’ve read through the forums to get a feel for what teams expectations should have been regarding pre-race penalties (a la LeMons).  It is pretty clear that cars exceeding the $500 prep limit will receive lap penalties.  From an official on the forums – “The acid test is “Do you have a $500 car or not?””

My recollection is that LeMons “cheaters” have been docked one lap for every $10 over the $500 limit .  $600 car = minus 10 laps…  

The plot thickens – I watched a car role through the inspection process and observed the Chump Car official nodding approvingly at the documentation accompanying a car that massively exceeded the $500 limit (just in body parts).   As this is the first Chump Car event, we have no idea what penalties are in store, or how they will be meted out. 

So, as of now, I’m not sure how much like a 24 Hours of LeMons race this Chump Car thing is going to turn out to be, but I did get some photos of a few cars that meet what I’ve always thought was the spirit of this type event.

Chump 510
510 Wagon - that's some righteous chumpiness
Chump Camaro
Not so sure about this one - makes me feel nostalgic for the Rockford Pile
Chump Colt
Nicely Done!!! This is the kind of crap-can I expected
Chump Fiat
Finally found the front two thirds of the Fiat X 1/6 - see the "Fiatcage.com" banner? Bellissimo!!
Chump Subaru
If it rains this legit chump has a real chance
Chump Toyota
Recycled Chumps - I've seen this POS before. These guys get it.
Chump Wrestle
Andre the Giant would approve - as do I

I guess I was wrong about that…

No, not the Ferrari thing, but this:

“There is a difference between an “activity” and a “race”, and it is important to understand what those differences might be.  If Lemons and Chump Car were really races, then the primary purpose would be to have a race – but, that’s not the primary purpose and everybody knows it.”

I wrote that passage a couple of days ago in my post Chump Car!!!, about this weekends event at Portland International Raceway.  It turns out that not everybody “knows it”.

Here’s an example from a 24 Hours of Lemons race:

Recently, I made a number of inquires to friends and acquaintances asking for photos of their Chump Cars and descriptions of their driver line-ups.  I didn’t get many takers.  The reason, it seems, is that they don’t want anybody to know what they’re up to…

Why not – you may ask?  I think they figure that if they hide until just before the race (that would be now), the officials won’t notice that they’ve grossly exceeded their budgets.  The rules clearly state that cars will be assigned penalty laps if they run afoul of the $500 prep rule.  Actually, maybe not so clearly, but they do say this:

If you screw-up… you’ll either be docked laps or you’ll have to face “The Wrecking Crew.” We hope that you’re as good at fixin’ cars as they are at dismantling them.”

If we apply just a little bit of logic we can deduce that since this is specifically supposed to be affordable racing ($500 cars), that the powers that be will vigorously protect this idea (crap-can racing commandment) by imposing “penalties” on those that “screw-up”.  After all (dare I say it), if we just want to do laps in $2000 cars we can do that at a Conference event.

Fiat BBQ
I've never seen one of these before

Anyway, I did receive some photos of a mobile Italian restaurant, which is really cool and I wouldn’t think counts toward the $500.  But, they have no pictures of the race car?  – Suspicious indeed…  I’m told it’s a Fiat X 1/9, well actually (counting the pasta cooker) it’s a Fiat X 1.5/9 which (if you take the time to do the math) is really a Fiat X 1/6. 

Fiat BBQ 2
Antonio, where is the wine opener!?!?

In any case, I’m not so worried about this one because the vital bits of the motor in an old Italian car like that will be organized much like a bowl of seafood linguine by the time the second bottle of Chianti is gone… Ask me how I know sometime.

Then there are a couple of teams with reclaimed Spec Miatas that they think nobody knows the cost of parts for.  Excuse me – hey look over here, there are some guys that have built a couple of these things. 

AR Spec Miata
Spec Miata masquerading as a.... Spec Miata - crew chief disguised to protect the innocent?

For example: the hard top on your $500 car is worth $800 all day long on Craigslist – “but we only paid $200 for the car, from my co-driver…”   These guys must think that the officials are Ferrari F1 fans.

And, if we put some  fins on this one then maybe everybody will think its a fish and not a real race car..? Until they start falling off of the poor thing – but that’s okay because the corner workers (both of them) will be looking for something to do around midnight…

Chump Shark 3
this one's been swimming round the bait tank for a while...

It’s no secret that this was (very recently) a real race car.  Again, we know stuff and we’re not afraid to prove it.  Lest you think that this is sour grapes or garden variety whining – reconsider.  Mostly I’m just bored, but there’s nothing gardeny about it and I am not telling you what to think of any of this, anyway – that’s all up to you (and those who would judge you).  I just shine the light of righteousness on those of sinister intentions – yes, I’m talking to you Schrader.

Chump Car!!!

I’ve described the 24 Hours of LeMons as a Halloween Party with cars, and Chump Car will soon take this description to its natural conclusion with a “race” at Portland International Raceway Oct 31 – Nov 1, 2009.

Background:  LeMons has been around since 2006 and is immensely popular in the car guy community.  My understanding has been that “LeMons” events have been in such high demand that there just hasn’t been room on the schedule for a Northwest race.  And, it seems that maybe we’re not the only place being left off of the schedule.

So, Chump Car is born.  The biggest difference I can see, at this point, is that it seems speeds are going to be higher in a Chump Car race (but not too high) – so, kind of like a Conference event.  I think they get away with calling it a race because they will be using transponders, and if they wanted to use that information for scoring, they could…

potentially fast car with shark theme - will the judges fall for this old trick?
potentially fast car with shark theme - will the judges fall for this old trick?

There is a difference between an “activity” and a “race”, and it is important to understand what those differences might be.  If Lemons and Chump Car were really races, then the primary purpose would be to have a race – but, that’s not the primary purpose and everybody knows it.

There is no reason to believe that this isn’t simply going to be a Halloween party with cars.  Before the race even starts cars will be credited or penalized laps based on important “racing criteria” like team theme and costumes, and the amount of school supplies donated to a particular charity.  The information gathered by the transponders can be “corrected” at any time and for any reason – again, just like Conference.

The promoters are very up front about the fact that they may, again, at any time, for any reason, mess with your “race car” just because they would enjoy it.

transformation from "red meat" to harmless bird
transformation from "red meat" to harmless bird

So, the Miatacage.com race team is in possession of the 2007 Thunderhill LeMons winning car.  The then recently acquired, totaled (complete, save the broken cam shaft) and purchased for $200, 1999 Mazda Protégé, was then known as Team Red Meat and Poontang – it was really cool when the track announcer said the team name on the loud speaker (once).

consensus is that we'd all still date her
consensus is that we'd all still date her

For Chump Car, the team has gone with a Partridge Family theme – something about 6 dates in 24 hours with Laurie (who didn’t have a crush on Susan Dey in 1973..?).  We’re all pretty excited about this.

The driving line-up for this grand adventure is made up of crew members of the nearly successful, go-til-ya-blow, 2008 25 Hours of Thunderhill Miatacage.com team.  The Miatacage.com “over the wall-stars” are Brian Clemons, Ed Pavone, Dave Sutherland, Kevin Clark, Garth (Crusher) Levin and Jeff Jenks.  They didn’t spill any fuel or make other mistakes at the 25 – lets see if they can keep the fenders on the Partridge Bus…

I’m not going to be of much use (unless there is a mid-event break for a walker race), so I’ll probably just hang out in the motor coach and watch the silliness (read: experiment with new cocktail recipes).  I love seeing people drive on the race track (in anger) for the first time, and there is going to be a lot of that going on.  I’ll be there just to see the looks on my friends faces both before and after their big racing debuts – I can’t wait.